Terrified but Tenacious

I really do need to thank Bryanna. She’s one of my best friends for a reason. If you have followed this blog at all (I might feel sorry for you – but also grateful and appreciative) hopefully you will notice this recurring theme – we all need to strive to do 1 thing that terrifies us each day. Put yourself out there in a way that completely freaks you out – maybe it is pushing yourself harder in a workout then you are used to, or having a face to face with your boss, or maybe talking to that cute guy/girl that you like but worry thinks you don’t exist. Whatever it is…. just make yourself do it!

My dog Stella and I have so much in common it is a bit scary. I wonder how much I have shaped her personality and how much is just coincidence. She has shown to be a very nervous dog in new situations, but only needs one positive experience to give her confidence. Carl and I have tried very hard to put her in a variety of situations to try to help her with her anxiety. Well… I’m really no different. New situations scare the crap out of me. They sometimes paralyze me to the point of just not participating and withdrawing completely. But then I remember my friend Bryanna’s advice and I just go ahead and do it! In all of my years of trying this I was only disappointed 1 time. I tried women’s touch football and just found it wasn’t for me.

During my childhood my family was in to only 3 sports – running, soccer and basketball. Β We did no winter sports whatsoever. My father immigrated from Jamaica and HATED winter. He always talked about moving Arizona (alas, we never did). Instead – I missed out on experiencing some Canadian past times that I think should be every child’s birthright – haha! Anyway, I have always LOVED hockey. Knowing how to skate is a skill I still want to master but haven’t but much effort in. I’m so jealous of anyone who plays hockey – the grace, speed, hand eye coordination, reflexes, chess brain it brings out is amazing. Chess brain is what I use to refer to those sports are really cerebral in the different combinations of ways you can try to manipulate your opponent and work with your teammates to achieve a goal…there’s just no better feeling. Sigh*** Anyway…. I have been doing all of this “training” but missed this cerebral element and high speed adaptation/reaction needed and easily achievable in team sports. I do miss Ultimate and would like to play again recreationally – but I am nervous to try. I feel as though I retired in just enough time to walk away with my knees. The last few years I felt nervous about planting hard and changing directions quickly which is essential in the sport when cutting and getting open. It requires the greatest degree of physical and mental acuity then any other sport I have played. I hate doing things at a level lower but I just can’t keep up in that sport at a competitive level. Which brings me to ball hockey and reclaiming my Canadian birth right – haha!

On a whim I happened to be surfin’ the net and started looking up ball hockey leagues in Toronto. I managed to find a league for beginners like me (it’s really mixed abilities which helps raise the level of play and lets the newbies learn more quickly) and tonight was the first night. I was nervous to the point of wanting to throw up throughout the school day today. I arrived almost an hour early so I could watch the game before mine and check out the pace of the game and maybe learn a little through osmosis. Game time arrived and I have to say the time flew by! I still thought we had another period of play when the game ended! It was a great workout – but I have to say 2 minute shifts are awesome compared to Ultimate where you can be on for 25 minute points!!! haha!!!! I felt like I learned a ton and I didn’t feel like too much of a liability. I’m excited to work on some stick handling in the backyard. It’s nice for an ADHD brain like mine to have things to keep it busy that aren’t always related to work. Β The funniest part of tonight – I didn’t drink any water the entire game because I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to undo the straps of my face guard, take a drink, and do the straps back up again in time to go back on. I definitely need to practice! Β πŸ˜‰ I arrived home completely ecstatic and too jacked up to get to sleep. I’m off to bed, going to meet Katy at Strengthbox for 6am tomorrow.

Go Orange!

Oh yeah…. we lost 2-6. Our team captain is still convinced we will win the league this year. I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s